My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
ok first of all what the fuck
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
