Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
