Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
