I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
