Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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