Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
