areolas are like halos for boobs.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
