On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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