My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
