Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
