i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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