I wanna bring you to show and tell
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
