these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
