haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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