All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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