Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
