help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
