You smell like stripper and shame
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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