I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
