I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's Friday. Sex?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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