Its about making memories worth repressing
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is this like a preordered booty call?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
