we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
