Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
