thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You were trust falling into bushes
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
