We're like a lot better than the average bears
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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