I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
