I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize