I hate your face
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
