stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
