why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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