It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
