ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
