happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
