He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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