Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
