Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
