The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
