We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
