Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize