i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
