so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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