Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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