How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
