i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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