Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
