So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
