ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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