I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
