My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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