Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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