But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize