The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My dick has a subreddit
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
