with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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