Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
