I looked at my own cervix.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
