drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
