i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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