It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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